All tagged shame triggers
“People like to be consistent — our actions tend to be in sync with our beliefs and values.” Think about that for just a moment… whether we are conscious of it or not, whatever we believe to be true will influence the way we act and move about in the world. What about if you believe that you’re unworthy of love and belonging?
Somehow, what started out as a loving effort had made me feel like I had forsaken a large part of my independence and that my very identity was now called into question…I was ashamed that my parents lived with me. I was ashamed of how others might see that. I was ashamed that I had started to see my parents as an object of frustration rather than truly wonderful people deserving of honor and whom I love. I was ashamed about how I felt about my shame.
The very few intimate friends that I allowed to see me - that is, truly see me and my emotional messiness - repeatedly said: “This is not your fault. You did nothing to deserve this.” But, I couldn’t hear them. It absolutely felt like a punishment, as if I had done something or failed to do something that could have avoided the outcome.